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| Today is the last day I am dependent of my parents, military benefits wise. NEX/Commissary, discounts all over the place, and last but not least exceptional health care. Excellent timing though because I start my new job tomorrow. Its an advising position at Heald College with salary and full time benefits. Im sure that its not going to be as good as the health care that I got at Tripler (military hospital) but its something. Tuesday, I turn 23. Im growing up. It feels like only yesterday when i graduated high school and here i am a college graduate about to step foot in the real world. Welcome to the rate race Nelly. Dad always says, "Its a doggy dog world out there" and i believe it. I am going to take this new phase of my life one step at a time with my head up. I am going to work hard and succeed in my career and personal life. There are no other options for me. Today is also the last day of i guess "child hood" for me. No more school (unless i find a job @ UH to pay for my masters) and work only 8 hour shift from this point forward, unless Dan strikes gold/open up a successful business or invent something awesome..then i dont have to work anymore, hehe. I cant believe that I dont have to wake up anymore and go to classes ever again. I wanted to grow up and here it is right in front of my face. I hope that whatever the future holds for me will be a great one. With my perseverance I know it will.
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| i cant believe im saying this but...
is it me or has life gotten boring ever since I finished school?
after work i come home and I have nothing to do. Watching tv or going to the movies can only take me so far. Ive been to the beach so many times that you can call me "darkness." I do not have to worry about writing papers, getting homework done at a certain time and reading something I'm forced to reading. I guess I kind of miss that. I've only been out of school for about 2 weeks and Im already feeling this way. I think its just that Ive been in school for 5 years and that is the only thing I thought about and have known. Now that Im finished I feel a little empty. I dont feel as busy anymore. You guys probably thinking how stupid I am for complaining. But oh well. I do still have graduate school to think about. I sent in my application about 2 weeks ago, hopefully I get in. For some reason Im feeling a little iffy about it though. I was really hoping that I get a full time job at school because they pay for tuition but no luck in that department yet. So, Im kind of worried about Financial Aid. Im about 32-33,000 in debt from loans, can I manage more? is it worth it?
I dont feel as life has started for me yet. Nothing exciting has happened since graduation.
I know that i only got out of school 2 weeks ago but ive been looking for a job since i walked in the ceremony in May. Fortunately, I am able to keep my job until the summer school sessions ends but thats only a month away. My internship that offered me a job pending a grant unfortunately didn't receive the grant because of the economy so they wont be able to hire any full time right now. Ive also applied to many Ed admin positions at Heald College and UH but so far no luck yet. Im waiting to hear on a few that ive applied for but for some reason it seems grim, but who knows. Maybe Im just being negative because I havent had any luck yet. Why did I have to graduate in this economy? its really hurting my future plans that ive mapped out for myself. Only 1 from my group of friends that graduated with me have founds I job, so i guess im not the only one in this predicament. But that is still no excuse, i guess. Finding a full time job is the only thing blocking my life. Its really hard not knowing what is going to happen because Ive always been in control of my future but not this time. My dad said that if I dont get a job before Dec that I would be moving back to Missouri. Im hoping.. no, I know its more than enough time to find something.
I guess that only thing I do is keep my fingers cross and pray as I have been. I hope something comes up really really soon.
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| it was a good day a beautiful sunny day.
walking to the pool with all my roommates because 3 of them just came back from NY
when suddenly we hear a cry of shear terror 2 feet away from us and a lady falling backwards on the ground like her legs melted. we thought she had a heat stroke but after we heard her cry of pain we all knew. we didn't know what to do, what could we have done?
This cry was so horrifying that you could hear it a mile away and even satan himself would have felt sadness and sympathy. this cry could only meant one thing.. somebody close to her just past away.
im thinking that because this was a military pool we were going to, that she was a military wife and/or mom that just lost her husband or son.
6 of us felt the pain from her cry. none said a word for at least 5 minutes.
i cant stop thinking about it. I cant stop thinking about all those mothers, sisters,brothers, fathers, wives, girlfriends, etc that lost loved ones from war.
thank you lord for stepping in and keeping my dad away from Afghanistan.
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new obsession, Zachary Quinto. i maybe crazy but he looks fine with them pointy eye brows and ears. *drool*
ok, so now thats out of the way...
i was suppose to go to kauai and big island last weekend but 15 minutes i leave to the airport i get a call from the office manager saying that as a safety precaution i would not be joining my two other co-workers on the trip and to stay away from the office for now. Whoa. Well, the office manager got paranoid because of the outbreak of swine flu at the university, especially at the dorms. I guess it wasn't smart to add that i actually knew this girl you contracted it at the dorms. Ridic! i dont even live in the dorms and its not like this girl is my best friend. Anyway, i guess its a blessing in diguise, even though i was really looking forward to go to these 2 islands, i got my last weekend as an undergrad free of work! So what did i do after i got the call? i went straight to the hale koa pool and got my tan on while sipping on a pina colada. oh yes. Oh and the next day i ended up joining one of my oldest friends to a movie and lunch with family for his birthday. this is where it gets interesting. We end up seeing Star Trek at 9:30am, yeah i know right? who watches a movie that early. Anyway, thats beside the point.. i walked out of the theatre shocked because i just saw one of the best movies ive ever seen and found a new love (the guy up there). I ended up seeing star trek again the same day but at night with my roomates. Call me crazy, definetly worth it!
Fam comes in aproximatly 2 days! whoohoo. so excited! Graduating next saturday! yes! which reminds me, i better start working on that grad app soon.. yikes!
... live long and prosper
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| after many nights and countless hours consumed in Hamilton library, the only big obstacle blocking my from graduation is finally off my back.
.... goodbye thesis, get out of my life!
Graduation & family only 3 weeks away
Kauai and Big Island 2 weeks away
sky diving 4-5 weeks away.
Full time job in about 2 months.
Iv been so stressed out lately due to thesis that the brunt of my attacks are towards my bf.
Gotta have a talk with him to apologize for yelling at him about 5 mins ago.
.. It just seems that we are in two different points in our life right now. But, I guess its always been that way. I dont see why we cant go through this struggle of differences together because it has always been there, just not as much as right now. Hopefully it will come ok just as it has always been.
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